Plugging away

A big part of my creative block is dealing with health issues. Sometimes when you feel like crap, creating something is the last thing you feel like doing.  I have Ménière’s Disease. I’ve had symptoms of this disease for quite a few years, but in the past two, they have become worse. When I have an attack, I really can’t do much but lie down. The Meclizine also knocks me out. I also have fibromyalgia. I have my good and bad days with that.  I have degenerative disc disease in my C5, C6 and C7 vertebrae from a roller coaster accident. On top of that, a shoddy chiropractor almost paralyzed me. Some friends recommended another chiropractor to fix me up, but I was really hesitant. Luckily  Dr. Goebel saved me from having surgery! It took weeks of his work and physical therapy to get good control of my right hand.


I had been neglecting my visual art for quite a few years before the injury. I pretty much have to start from scratch because I have to regain my hand-eye coordination. I may post some of the art that I’ve done to mark any progress I’ve made. I would appreciate feedback from this. I don’t mean the “YOU SUCK,” with no instruction type of feedback. I want to know how to get better. What did I miss? What do I need to observe?

I also have been neglecting my writing. I had a really shitty experience in graduate school that pretty much killed my muse. =( I find myself looking at a blank screen and this internal editor from hell screaming at me. I wish that I had that free spirit in me, but that seems to be imprisoned somewhere.

If anybody who reads this has any tips on how to get rid of creative blocks, I’m all ears.

Blank slate

I really don’t know what I am going to do with this blog. I am in a nasty creative slump and have been for quite a while. Sometimes I will have trickles of ideas,  but then they dry up. I think my biggest problem is that I have a really nasty critical voice in my head that chops things up and says “NO” when I try ANYTHING. I have been trying to tell that bitch in my head to shut the hell up and allow me to work.

Story behind NenaMataHari: When I was in high school, I was a little brat in German class. I would do things like tell a younger student that he would get extra credit if he asked the teacher “Hast du Verstopfung?” He didn’t even ask me what it meant! He just marched right up to the teacher and asked him. My German teacher gave the poor git a weird look and said “Nein. Ich habe  Exlax genommen. Warum zum Teufel hast du mich fragen?”  My punishment was to memorize a German pop tune and sing it in front of the class. Since this happened quite often, I got the nickname “Nena” from the band who gave us “99 Luftballons”  There are a decent number of 80’s and 90’s German pop tunes I still have memorized. I’m prepared for karaoke in Germany.

I also love music from the Balkans, especially former Yugoslavia. The Mata Hari bit of this name came from a band called Hari Mata Hari. I love Hari Varešanović’s voice.