This is very important. I know that too many religious types (of all faiths) DEMAND that you forgive abusive people. Sometimes abusers use religion to abuse others and then turn around and say “Now you have to forgive me because God says.”
That’s a load of bullshit. You don’t owe anyone forgiveness. You don’t owe anyone your time if they’re going to be horrible to you.
I see this occurring, all too often.
Religious people, can be the worst for this. I’ve heard many toxic and abusive statements, like ‘God won’t forgive you of your sins, if you don’t forgive your abusers’, ‘all sins are equal’. ‘I’ve forgiven, so should you’. Which is highly abusive to state.
This is all ‘shame-shifting’.
The only person that does need to feel shame, is the abuser. They do need to feel appropriate shame about their actions. They do need to feel remorse about the harm they caused. They need to seek to do what is necessary, to deal with it appropriately. Like be honest and tell the truth. Be honest about their motivations.
And if they did all this, they would not expect or demand anything from the victim. They would know the victim needs to deal with their healing, how the victim needs. They would know the victim…
View original post 231 more words