The Secret Life of Chronic Pain

Being someone who has had chronic pain for many years, my pain scale is a bit warped. That’s why I have a hard time answering a doctor’s pain scale questions. I say “A normal person’s pain scale or mine?” My daily pain scale is at a “normal person’s” 4 usually. If I’m lucky, maybe it’s a “normal person’s” 2.  A 5 or 6 for me would be an 7 or 8 for a normie. Sometimes it’s hard for me to know when to get my ass to a doctor or ER.
So what’s my secret?
Part of this is genetics. My Grandpa Taylor (maternal grandfather) had Wolverine’s pain tolerance. My mother also has some of that X-men mutant pain tolerance. It’s what makes us overdo it and really end up doing a lot of harm to ourselves.
Another thing is that I’ve become a pro at pushing pain away, or just super focusing on something to make it less noticeable. This is especially true for the ulcerative colitis related stuff. When I have that kind of pain, I can’t concentrate on high intellect stuff like school work, but I SUPER focus on pointless silly apps. It’s not that I DON’T feel the pain. It’s that I can bear down and hyper-focus on something else. I’ve had many, many years of practice.
Well, some pains you just can’t do shit no matter what.. Kidney stones are the limit. That’s the WORST type of pain EVER. Women say that it hurts worse than childbirth even. That’s a 10 on my pain scale. I just try my best to concentrate on breathing, but I can’t do much. I just zone out, barf and shiver.

Long hiatus, hospital hi-jinx.

I have made two trips to the hospital for a colitis flare and c. diff infection. =( It’s been frustrating.  I did do some artwork (mostly fiber art) before this happened and I will post photos of them once I am not totally useless on the couch. I am pretty weak because I’m not absorbing nutrients well.  Hey, that’s one way to lose weight, eh?

I have some dye projects going on. I bought four white cotton skirts from Mexicali Blues. I’ve already dyed them with Rit.  Once I get over this health crap, they will be embroidered and/or appliqued as wearable art skirts.

I also bought two white cotton tunic shirts. They will be dyed as well. Since they already have detail work on them I may just dye them or perhaps I may add beadwork. I’m thinking of replacing the ribbon with something more festive.

I just hope I can function well enough in my classes so that I don’t have to drop them. =( If this current round of antibiotics doesn’t cut it, I will be admitted to the hospital and have hardcore antibiotics dripped into my veins.